Birthday Reflections

I’ve chosen to begin my 33^rd year with a serious case of self-reflection. The last year, albeit not my happiest, was a year of intense growth and learning for me.  With the hopes of solidifying lessons learned and continuing on a path of improvement, I have decided to attempt to capture some of, what I feel, are the most important pieces of wisdom that I have taken away from my 32nd year.

• This is me. Silly, stubborn, emotional, kind, generous, determined, strong, and a hardcore procrastinator. I expect a lot of myself and I’m often critical, of myself and others, because I hold everyone to a high standard. I love big and I love hard.  I’m a handful…….in, what I feel is, the best possible way. I will no longer apologize for being any of these things. Ever…

• Trusting the process. Embrace the fact that the harder you try to control situations, and people, the less you actually feel in control. Do what you love, be kind and maintain hope that everything will work out in the end. Leave the rest up to the universe……

• Just because you have a past with someone doesn’t mean they need to be a part of your future. I truly believe that all relationships in our lives have definitive life cycles.  They serve a purpose, for a certain amount of time, and then need to be packed up and set in our figurative treasure chest of life.  This does not mean that what they brought to your life is forgotten it just means that they are no longer serving the greater purpose that was once required. Additionally, I have found that when I try to maintain relationships past their “end point” they end up taking an extreme amount of energy to maintain. They also tend to be full of empty promises, “lip service” and are extremely inauthentic. I want to be surrounded by love, laughter, kindness, inspiration and joy, daily. The relationships I have in my life that are providing these things are the ones that are still serving a purpose and should be the ones I continue to invest in.  Not everyone or everything is forever…

• Some people will desire you. This does NOT mean that they value you. If you like the “idea” of me but show no interest in getting to know the inner workings of my mind and my heart, you can hit the road. End of story……

• Give love away. All day. Every day. To everyone. Do not save it for those you think “deserve” it or those you think will return it. Everyone deserves it, period, and if you give love away that is not reciprocated it is purely a reflection of the other person and says nothing about you. And for reals, you contributed more love to the world…..have you really lost anything?

• Lastly, two words….”Sweet Solitude” tattooed across my torso. Based off a quote by Warsan Shire. Truly a message, to myself, that Alysia Ann Jansen, is bad ass as a solo unit. I refuse to accept anything even close to mediocre, especially when it comes to a man, just because society tells me that I “should” be in a relationship or I am “less than” because I am single. I am not broken because I’m divorced and there is nothing wrong with me because I am “still” single. There is something wrong with a society that tells people that they need to be in a relationship in order to be “complete.” I am 100% whole and I am 100% awesome with or without a man by my side. 

In this moment, I'm setting the intention that my 33rd year will be full of more learning, more laughter and more love. 
With these three things, the world is mine!